Killing Us Slowly

There are songs that we all wish would die. Some bands, as a whole, need to retire, and take their music with them. Let’s 🌮 bout some of these.

“Killing Me Softly With His Song” is top on this list. He may be killing her softly, but this song is killing us slowly. A slow, painful death, every time this unfortunate hit comes on. The worst is when it’s playing at a store, and you can’t change the station. This tune debuted in 1973, recorded by Roberta Flack, but today, most people know the 1996 version, which was a cover by Fugees. The cover gave it more of a beat, which made it stick in our brains, which then plead for death.

If there’s one song that needs to be murdered by means of explosives, it’s “Happy” by Pharrell Williams. Dear Mr Williams, we get it. You’re happy. Did you have to announce it in a manner so obnoxious, that sales of ice picks went up, in an attempt to never, ever have to hear it again? When this tragedy hit our hears in 2014, it was entirely obvious that it was geared toward children and teens. Using it in the movie Despicable Me 2, definitely put Williams on the map. This was a track on his sophomore album, which came out eight years after his 2006 debut album, In My Mind.

Hollaback Girl. Is there anyone, over the age of twelve, who ever liked this one? I mean, it was even featured in the TV series Gilmore Girls, as a song played by the temporarily-disbanded Hep Alien, at a Bat Mitzvah. Proof positive of its targeted audience. 

To make this a short post, we can now talk about a band who needs to disappear, deep into the African jungles, never to return... The Killers.

Despite their 15m+ followers on Spotify, this band is destroying music, as a whole. How on earth Mr Brightside got as popular as it did, is a mystery more puzzling than Stonehenge. No melody, erratic rhythm, and they half scream/half yell the lyrics. If they’ve got better songs, it’s not saying much. Literally anything is better than that. I would much rather put Lucia di Lammermoor on repeat, 24/7.

Got any defense for these? Got others you think should be on this list? Let’s discuss! 

See you on the B-sides

2021 At Last

2020 is gone, and 2021 is punching through a wall like the Kool-Aid man! There was a lot of good music released last year, and this year is looking like it’ll be absolutely fantastic!

There are so many albums planned for 2021, some of which have already been released. Here’s a list of upcoming albums, in no particular order...

You Me at Six will release SUKAPUNCH on the 15th of this month! I don’t know about you, but I’m excited to hear what is bound to be a fabulous new, yet very loyal to their sound, album! This will make album number eight (nine if you count the Cavalier Youth special edition). These fabulous artists hit their debut back in 2009, and are still rocking strong! 

Viagra Boys has their new album, Welfare Jazz, scheduled to come out on January 8. You know you’re curious to hear it. I mean, the band and album names, alone, are enough to make you push play.

Alice Cooper, one of the most genuinely nice celebs on earth, will release Detroit Stories on February 26. We were introduced to Alice Cooper in 1969, with his debut album Pretties For You. The man may be older, but his music is fresh as ever.

A much-anticipated album from our favorite angst band, Evanescence, will finally be heard on 26 March! This year, we get to hear The Bitter Truth. Do you remember when My Immortal was everywhere? Like, almost every single song on the radio? And how everyone felt the need to sing it, and then tell you why, so you could join in their angst? Those were the days... A bit more mature now, but no matter how old you are, you’ll always have your immortal.

There is quite a list of anticipated releases, but none have firm release dates. Some of these include albums by:

Adele

Cardi B

GZA

Liz Phair

Diddy

Lana Del Rey

My Bloody Valentine

Alicia Keys

The Cure

Weezer

ZAYN

A whole year ahead. So many possibilities. 

What albums are you most excited for?

See you on the B-sides!

Christmas Done Wrong

You had to know this was coming...

There are so many to choose from, but here, we will discuss the most terrible, awful, ear-piercing songs of the season.

Number one on this is, always has been, and always will be Last Christmas by WHAM! It’s been covered by so many other artists, and it makes you wonder how much they had to be paid to get them to be associated with this absolute wreck of a... I can’t even call it a song. It’s just that bad. How people can actually listen to this, is a mystery that Scully and Mulder need to investigate. 

Then there’s the grating tune called Christmas Shoes. It pulls at the heartstrings, and is generally a good song... until the ten-millionth time you’ve heard it that day. Adding the kid for the one chorus was a play at emotion that wound up making the song even more intolerable. Not sorry.

As I mentioned in my last post, I absolutely detest The Christmas Song by the usually amazing Nat King Cole. The melody sounds like it was written by a drunk chimpanzee going to town on an out-of-tune piano. It may rhyme, but there’s absolutely no reason to the format. No. Just... no.

With this one, we’re definitely not having a Wonderful Christmas Time. Make it stop. Now. It was most likely written as propaganda for North Korea, as the repetitive message, in forced cheerfulness, is literally the only thing anyone remembers from this disaster of an unfortunate classic. Paul McCartney should have quit when he was ahead.

Mariah Carey is a powerhouse. Nobody can ever deny that. When her now-famous Christmas tune debuted, it was an instant hit. Here we are, twenty-six years later, and there’s not one person I know of who doesn’t want this thing to disappear into the abyss of murdered hits. Dear artists, stop covering this, unless you’ve got some new way of doing it. It’s overdone, and beyond tired.

To be perfectly honest, since I signed up for Spotify, I haven’t listened to a radio long enough to hear all the obnoxious Christmas songs, so remembering them is thankfully difficult. Tell me some of your least favorite disasters in the comments!

See you on the B-sides

Christmas Done Right

If it has to be 24/7 Christmas music, at least play the good versions!

From covers of the classics, to new beats, to the ones we would love to see disappear forever, Christmas music is everywhere. Some of the more obnoxious shops start playing these tunes on November 1st, others wait until after Thanksgiving (as they should). We all have our favorites. Let’s talk about some of them!

When it comes to “Jingle Bells”, nobody beats Old Blue Eyes, himself, mister Frank Sinatra. Now, understand something— I absolutely hate Sinatra, but his version of this Christmas classic is unmatched. It swings, and makes it impossible to sit still. This is a must for your holiday playlist!

Martina McBride has a cover of “Do You Hear What I Hear” that anyone— country fan or not— will love. The progressions are on point, and her powerful voice brings the meaning, and feeling, of the song to life. Well done, and not too much.

“Up On The Housetop”, covered by Pentatonix, is going to be on repeat for hours! Actually, the whole album is a win. The fabulous a capella group has four holiday albums, but A Pentatonix Christmas (2017) is my personal favorite. If you saw the latest version of Dr Seuss’s “The Grinch (2018)”, you’ll recognize a cover on this album.

If you want a flip on the traditional “Santa Baby”, originally recorded by Eartha Kitt, you’ll want to head straight over to none other than Michael Bublé. Same melody, same sentiment, new lyrics. Michael is like the groundhog of Christmas— he pops up every year to get us dancing through the season.

As for an original holiday tune, N*SYNC (judge me) has a great one. It’s cheesy, a little awkward, but nonetheless a great song. “I Never Knew The Meaning of Christmas” is everything we needed from 90’s boy bands at Christmas. 

Not a very common song, “Pat-a-Pan” is catchy, so I probably wouldn’t let kids listen to it. You’ll love it... the first fifty times. Then you’ll want to slap David Archuleta in his stupidly angelic face. An old French tune brought into modern times perfectly.

Two years ago, the hip-hop violinist graced us with a Christmas album that is everything we have come to expect from her, and more. Lindsay Stirling’s album, Warmer in the Winter, has both beloved classics, and new jams. Teaming up with vocal artists, like All Time Low’s Alex Gaskarth, this album definitely needs to be in your list! Yes, the whole album.

Christmas is a fun time to be in a band or orchestra. It’s even more fun to listen to them. The Boston Pops, directed by former Utah Symphony conductor Kieth Lockhart, has quite the list of fabulous Christmas tunes. My personal favorites are the purely instrumental “Sleigh Ride”, and “The Twelve Days of Christmas” featuring Tanglewood Festival Chorus. You may want to brush up on your music references before checking out that one, as each of the twelve days is done in a new way.

(Almost) anything by Nat Kong Cole is a sure-fire hit. The man oozed Christmas, but the ones that have been my absolute favorites are his “Hark! The Herald Angels Sing” and “Joy to the World”. Call me whatever you like, but I do not now, nor will I ever, like “The Christmas Song”. If I want someone nipping my nose, I’ll find a puppy.

Finishing off this post with Amy Grant’s “Breath Of Heaven”. Known in many circles, but not known enough, in my opinion. An absolutely beautiful song that represents Christmas as CHRISTmas.

What are the must-haves in your holiday playlists? 

See you on the B-sides

Messing With Good Things

Hey, music freaks! It’s been a while! Let’s see if we can keep this going, eh?

We’ve all loved a song, but had it ruined in blatant marketing schemes the industry calls “mixes”. These mixes are done by using club-like backbeats, or re-recorded with “special guests”. Sometimes, these are good. Sometimes they’re bad. So, today, I’m going to talk about one of these.

Earlier this year, All Time Low released “Wake Up, Sunshine”, which is arguably their best album since “Nothing Personal”, back in 2009. One of the tracks on this absolutely fabulous album, is titled “Monsters”. It’s catchy, thought-provoking, and a fan favorite. Last night, or this morning (depending on where you live), ATL released a new mix of “Monsters”, featuring Demi Lovato.

The addition of Lovato could have been incredible, but they totally botched it... big time. Lovato’s voice and tone match the ATL style with precision. She goes all out to add to this hit. The problem comes in the presentation of the addition.

The song starts, totally normal, and you can’t tell it’s different. Alex Gaskarth, doing what he does best, leads the way into the rap by blackbear. Then, with no buildup, no intro, and no warning, Demi Lovato comes in hard, covering the end of blackbear’s moment. She then solos on a chorus, which is awesome, but... 

My problem with this new mix is, it sounds absolutely empty without introducing Lovato, sooner. This version makes her sound like a party crasher— uninvited, and pushing ATL out of the way to get a moment of recognition. In essence, it sounds haphazard, at best.

Nothing against All Time Low or Demi Lovato— both amazing artists— it simply isn’t executed well.

What do you think if this new release? Do you like it? Do you not? Let’s talk in the comments!

See you on the B-sides

The Worst Of The Worst

Today’s list is the worst songs ever recorded. This list is subjective, but I’m sure we can agree on at least a few. Before we get to it, I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry...

Artist & Song

Iselin “Santa’s Summer”

Have you ever wondered what Santa does in the summertime? Yeah, neither has anyone else. Putting these random thoughts together, with the worst possible music, with her voice... Let’s just say she should stick to Botox and tanning beds. If you think the song is bad, check out the music video...

Rebecca Black “Friday”

Again with the super nasally voice. How do these people get recorded, let alone get air time on the radio? I won’t even start on the lyrics... except that I’m pretty sure a 5-year-old wrote it.

Toy-Box “Superstar”

You probably heard or saw Toy-Box’s “Tarzan and Jane”, way back in the day. As much as we all hoped they stopped there, alas, they did not. Granted, the message in this is more than true for many celebs, but that doesn’t make it good. 

Crazy Town “Butterfly”

Make... it... stop. Is it rap? Is it metal? What is it?! Another one with a video that makes you go “Huh?!”

Snow “Informer”

Yeah, the reggae/rap mashup thing should never have been a thing. Although, to be perfectly honest, it’s the least of the evils in this list. That’s not saying much, but still.

Fergie “London Bridge” [E]

Has Fergie ever done anything of merit? Straight from the “I’m gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket” artist, I give you her debut. There’s exactly zero sense or merit to this, again, like everything else she’s done. She’d do well to quietly fade into oblivion.

Right Said Fred “I’m Too Sexy”

You know it. You make fun of it. Kroger used it in their latest adverts. No matter how hard we try to erase this sad excuse for a song, it keeps popping up. Mostly to be made fun of, but that doesn’t make it hurt our ears any less.

D4L “Laffy Taffy” [E]

This would be a great song to blast on repeat to get prisoners to talk. Then again... that would probably be considered “cruel and unusual punishment”. I dare you to listen to this without laughing. Go ahead. I’ll wait.

*NSYNC, Lisa “Left Eye” Lopes “Space Cowboy (Yippie-Yi-Yay)”

Love ‘em or hate ‘em, this is the absolute worst track they ever recorded. It’s complete nonsense, put to music, with an “I’m so sexy” tone. Please make this one go away. Now.

Backstreet Boys “Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely” 

I’m probably going to catch crap for this, but of all the cheesy crap BSB released, this is by far the cheesiest. Even the title makes me vomit a little.

Got something I should hear? Let me know in the comments!

***Music is subjective. My opinions are not the only ones out there. If you like something I don’t recommend, that’s awesome! Tell your friends about the awesome song you just heard!***

No Guilt

Do you hide some of your opinions on music? Do people laugh at you because you like a song or band that’s “stupid”? Do you realize that it’s not a problem with you, but actually their problem?

My entire life, people have made fun of me for some of the music I like. I grew up completely in love with Hanson (yes, I’m that old), and was relentlessly made fun of for it. Getting older, I was drilled because I can’t stand Frank Sinatra. My sister, who has always had an “I’m better than you because I listen to ‘deep’ music” made fun of me because I voiced my opinion of liking “Hoedown Throwdown” from Hannah Montana. Never once have I allowed myself to be bullied into backing down on my music opinions.

What I’m trying to say is, you can’t change what you like or dislike. You are a unique person, with unique tastes. Not just in music... in EVERYTHING! You wouldn’t change something you like to eat, simply to appease someone, would you? You like eggplant? Eat eggplant! You like a type of music? Listen to it!

You like what you like. That’s what makes you unique. And you want to know something? It is 100% perfectly fine to be a punk rocker, or metal head, who likes One Direction. Oh! And parents... do you like a song from your kiddo’s cartoon? That’s awesome! Use it to bond with your mini! There’s absolutely no shame in it.

Do you, your way.

1996

Today’s list is songs from (roughly) 1996. Take a trip down memory lane with these hits!

Artist & Song

Donna Lewis “I Love You Always Forever”

The track that put Donna on the map is a familiar tune. Whether it be in your personal collection, or you’ve just heard it while shopping, you’ll know it.

Céline Dion “It’s All Coming Back to Me Now”

You know you love it. No use in denying it. Because when you listen like this, and you sing it like that... I’ll stop there.

Toni Braxton “You’re Makin’ Me High”

Is there any name in music that is as 90’s as Toni Braxton? That voice, that style. A must for every throwback.

Gin Blossoms “Follow You Down”

Another one you’re sure to know, even if you didn’t know you knew. This great beat is sure to find its way into your toes.

Spice Girls “Wannabe”

Spice. ‘Nuff said. Fun fact that you probably knew: The video for this was filmed in one continuous shot. No breaks.

The Prodigy “Firestarter”

A quick break from the mainstream 90’s pop. Technically released in 1997, but we’ll make an exception. 

Jamiroquai “Virtual Insanity”

Not gonna lie, I’d never heard this one. Glad it showed up in this list, though. Jam.

New Edition “I’m Still In Love With You”

Those sweet, sweet harmonies are the reason we still love New Edition, today. Smooth jam. Complete with cheesy background lines. 

Rage Against The Machine “Bulls On Parade” [E]

What’s more 90’s than grunge? Besides the explosion of boy bands, that is. If you can handle the Rage, crank it loud!

Bryan Adams “The Only Thing That Looks Good On Me Is You”

That’s right, our favorite Robin Hood love song artist has other songs! Check out this for a surprise you never knew Adams was capable of.

Got something I should hear? Let me know in the comments!

***Music is subjective. My opinions are not the only ones out there. If you like something I don’t recommend, that’s awesome! Tell your friends about the awesome song you just heard!***

Kalai

Artist: Kalai

Album: Acoutacism

Year Released: 2001

Track-By-Track:

Both Sides

Bagpipes start out this unique blend of instruments and styles. Great intro leads to the main event that is everything we know and love from Kalai. He could not have chosen a better track to start this album.

On My Mind

This is the only wedding song you’ll ever need. Great lyrics, harmonies, and backtrack. Love this one.

Untouched

Intro is a bit of a change from the previous tracks, yet Kalai holds strong with his own, personal style. This one has everything. 

Divide Me

Chill vibe that’s perfect for a road trip, or a trip down memory lane. A great change from the rest of the album, but fits in, perfectly.

Shotgun Blues

Keeping the chill going with this one. Lyrics are entirely personal, and I’m sure will strike a chord with many.

One Life

And we’re back with the dance vibes. This is one of my personal faves from Kalai. I love rolling down the windows and blasting this one on a summer evening. Yes, I’m that girl.

It Passed

This intro is just everything. Kalai has a way with a guitar. Lyrics are a bit difficult to decipher, to be perfectly honest. Still a nice song, though.

Indian Man

This blog doesn’t review music with political points, as this song has. Up to you if you like it.

Patience Lies

Nice song. Not bad, but not the best of the album. Music is nice, but doesn’t seem to fit the lyrics, in my opinion.

In the Back

Depressing. Again, very personal lyrics that some can relate to.

Fading Out

Beginning to wonder what Kalai has gone through in his life. Yet another personal one. Music is perfect for the lyrics.

Strong Ties

Interesting way to start...? However, a fitting end to a debut album. Check out the lyrics. 

Recommended?

Absolutely! I have loved Kalai since 2004. I got the chance to see him live, at a small outdoor venue. When I met him, he was the most genuine person. That’s how an artist should be— genuine.

👋Got something you think I should hear? Drop it in the comments!👋

⬜️See you on the B-sides⬜️

***Music is subjective. My opinions are not the only ones out there. If you like something I don’t recommend, that’s awesome! Tell your friends about the awesome song you just heard! Artists love positive feedback!***

Second Star To The Right

Today’s list is songs inspired by, or simply mention, Peter Pan. Or so says Google. Do you have one not listed here? Let me know!

Artist & Song

Ruth B. “Lost Boy”

I’ve reviewed this song before, in an album feature for Ruth. Still a favorite. All the feels in a slow piano jam. Love it.

Kelsea Ballerini “Peter Pan”

As country as country gets. We all know someone like this. A perfect song to get those feelings out. Great vibe, awesome lyrics, fantastic beat.

All Time Low “Somewhere In Neverland”

A favorite for many ATL fans, and perfect for this list. The beat, alone, will have you hitting that repeat button. Lyrics are classic ATL. Perfect, as always.

Blues Teaveler “Hook”

Is that an accordion? Ok, then. Chill vibe, and unique style. Very 90’s. Title fits the list, lyrics do not. Still a good track to add to your lists.

Arcade Fire “Peter Pan”

A bit choppy, in my opinion. But hey, that may be your vibe. Not a bad song, by any means. Just not on my top 10.

Metallica “Enter Sandman”

Yankees fans? Metal heads? Classic rockers? Wannabe? We all come together for this fantastic classic. 

Faith Hill “Fireflies”

And we’re back to country. I’m not personally a big Faith Hill fan, so I’ve never heard this one. This is the first song on this list to mention Tinkerbell. That’s a plus. A pretty good song if you’re needing something chill.

Lily Allen “Something’s Not Right”

From the “Pan” movie soundtrack. Sorry... I can’t handle the voice. I made it 30 seconds before considering putting an ice pick in my ear. Let me know what you think, though!

Kate Bush “In Search Of Peter Pan”

That ice pick is looking better and better... Hated it from the first word.

Skrillex, Sirah “Bangarang”

At least this list ended on a high note. Throw that neon shirt over your lampshade, and get your rave on. Light sticks will also be necessary.

Got something I should hear? Let me know in the comments!

***Music is subjective. My opinions are not the only ones out there. If you like something I don’t recommend, that’s awesome! Tell your friends about the awesome song you just heard!***