Christmas Done Wrong

You had to know this was coming...

There are so many to choose from, but here, we will discuss the most terrible, awful, ear-piercing songs of the season.

Number one on this is, always has been, and always will be Last Christmas by WHAM! It’s been covered by so many other artists, and it makes you wonder how much they had to be paid to get them to be associated with this absolute wreck of a... I can’t even call it a song. It’s just that bad. How people can actually listen to this, is a mystery that Scully and Mulder need to investigate. 

Then there’s the grating tune called Christmas Shoes. It pulls at the heartstrings, and is generally a good song... until the ten-millionth time you’ve heard it that day. Adding the kid for the one chorus was a play at emotion that wound up making the song even more intolerable. Not sorry.

As I mentioned in my last post, I absolutely detest The Christmas Song by the usually amazing Nat King Cole. The melody sounds like it was written by a drunk chimpanzee going to town on an out-of-tune piano. It may rhyme, but there’s absolutely no reason to the format. No. Just... no.

With this one, we’re definitely not having a Wonderful Christmas Time. Make it stop. Now. It was most likely written as propaganda for North Korea, as the repetitive message, in forced cheerfulness, is literally the only thing anyone remembers from this disaster of an unfortunate classic. Paul McCartney should have quit when he was ahead.

Mariah Carey is a powerhouse. Nobody can ever deny that. When her now-famous Christmas tune debuted, it was an instant hit. Here we are, twenty-six years later, and there’s not one person I know of who doesn’t want this thing to disappear into the abyss of murdered hits. Dear artists, stop covering this, unless you’ve got some new way of doing it. It’s overdone, and beyond tired.

To be perfectly honest, since I signed up for Spotify, I haven’t listened to a radio long enough to hear all the obnoxious Christmas songs, so remembering them is thankfully difficult. Tell me some of your least favorite disasters in the comments!

See you on the B-sides